02.09.2011 - Drama-Mama - Bible In A Minute

Performed: Friday 2nd September 2011

Bible In A Minute (1st Person)

1-2-3
Bible in a minute

Earth made, Adam Eve
Cain kills Abel, has to leave
Boring Genealogy
Great flood, olive leaf

Tower of Babel, Abraham
Sodom and Gomorrah, and
Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses
Ten Commandments, Promised Land

Judges, David, Solomon
Sent away to Babylon
Job, then a bunch of Psalms
Proverbs and the Song of Songs

Major prophets, lion's den
Minor prophets, Bethlehem
Gold and Myrrh and Frankincense
Satan and Samaritan

Choose disciples, other cheek
Walk on water, thousands eat
Lazarus, fig tree
Last supper, Gethsemane

Blood Money, third denial
Pontius Pilate, public trial
Forty lashes, to the tree
Why have you forsaken me?

Third day, empty tomb
Reappears, five wounds
Acts of the Apostles next
Epistles and Apocalypse

WHOA!!!!

. . .

Bible In A Minute (2nd Person)

1-2-3
Bible in a minute

Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom boom boom
Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat

Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat Promised Land

Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Job... Ret
Proverbs… Error

Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat Samaritan

Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat Gethsemane

Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Pontius Pilate, public trial
Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Why have you forsaken me?

Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat
Boom boom chat boom (breath) boom chat

WHOA!!!!

19.08.2011 - Drama-Mama - Set Free

Performed: Friday 19th August 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbvrvrelDUo&feature=share


"But if men are bound in chains, held fast by cords of affliction, he tells them what they have done-- that they have sinned arrogantly. He makes them listen to correction and commands them to repent of their evil. If they obey and serve him, they will spend the rest of their days in prosperity and their years in contentment. But if they do not listen, they will perish by the sword and die without knowledge." ~ Job 36:8-12 (NIV)

INTRODUCTION

First of all, I want to introduce the roles that are being portrayed here in our first drama act:

Jeremy – Jesus
Patrick – Satan (Pride)
Joel – Greed
Stanley – Envy
Ivana – Anger
Arabelle – Lust
Annette – Gluttony
Wai San – Sloth
Myself – I represent everyone who has suffered under the weight of sins and was set free by the salvation of our Lord Jesus Christ

Together, we make up the OCF Melbourne City drama team, which is called “Drama-Mama” according to Jeremy.

Our purpose is to worship God through various means, which include singing, dancing and acting. Anyone can be part of the drama team and everyone who participate in the drama team hold the same responsibility and leadership. There is no supervisor, manager or leader of the drama team besides God.

MAIN

As you probably have noticed, our first drama act is based on the Seven Deadly Sins, which originated from the Catholic Church with Pope St. Gregory the Great and St. John Cassian. However, it is really more of a guide for spiritual progress than a doctrine. Therefore, it is not reserved exclusively for Catholics but applies to all Christians in general.

As a matter of fact, you cannot find a complete list of all the sins in one place in the Bible. The Bible covers all these sins in different books. So the list of the Seven Deadly Sins is really just a condensed version of what the Bible already stated clearly throughout.

So how did people come up with Seven Deadly Sins and not eight or nine? King Solomon stated that the Lord specifically regards “six things that the Lord hateth, and the seventh His soul detesteth”:

Proverbs 6:16-19
There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him:
Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil,
A false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.

The rest of the Seven Deadly Sins is also mentioned in:

Galatians 5:19-21
The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;
Idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions
And envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Looking at the Seven Deadly Sins, we must not forget that there is another matching list that is the Seven Godly Virtues. Let me introduce you to the sins and virtues in their traditional order:

Seven Deadly Sins and Seven Godly Virtues

Pride - Humility
Greed - Generosity
Envy - Kindness
Anger - Patience
Lust - Chastity
Gluttony - Temperance
Sloth - Diligence

. . .

Pride – is an excessive confidence in an individual's own abilities that interferes with the individual's acknowledgment and understanding of the grace of God.

Proverbs 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.

Humility

Proverbs 15:33
The fear of the LORD teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor.

. . .

Greed – is the overwhelming desire to gain wealth. It places the love of physical objects above the love of people and the love of God.

Luke 12:15
Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

Generosity

2 Corinthians 9:11
You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

. . .

Envy – is a feeling of discontentment created by witnessing or hearing of the advantage, benefit, prosperity, gain, or success of others.

James 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

Kindness

Act 4:9-10
If we are being called to account today for an act of kindness shown to a cripple and are asked how he was healed,
Then know this, you and all the people of Israel: It is by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified but whom God raised from the dead, that this man stands before you healed.

. . .

Anger – is the rejection of love. It occurs when man chooses not to forgive and it leads to fury and sometimes to wrath.

Ephesians 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,

Patience

Ecclesiastes 7:8
The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.

. . .

Lust – is an excessive sexual appetite that results in one seeking immediate or ruthless satisfaction. It places the love of other people above the love of God.

Numbers 15:39
You will have these tassels to look at and so you will remember all the commands of the LORD, that you may obey them and not prostitute yourselves by going after the lusts of your own hearts and eyes.

Chastity

Ephesians 5:3
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.

. . .

Gluttony – is the excessive desire for food or drink. It can cause direct physical harm to the body, which is supposed to be the temple of God.

Proverbs 23:1-2
When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what is before you,
And put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.

Temperance

Romans 13:14
Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

. . .

Sloth – is the procrastination or evading of either physical or spiritual work. It causes man to become complacent and unwilling to carry out the service of God.

Romans 12:11
Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.

Diligence

Hebrews 6:11
We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure.

. . .

Why do we make such a big deal out of the sins and virtues anyway?

James 2:10
For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.

Romans 3:23
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

Romans 6:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Before knowing God, we experience many temptations. In our walks with God, we experience the heaviest temptations. This is all because the devil tries to pull us away from God.

“Did you know that demons tremble at the name of Jesus? Satan is defeated, this is a visual example of how demons have to flee when you repent and come to Jesus. The Power of God is real!”

CONCLUSION

For this Semester, I just want to ask you:

Do you want to be free?

Strip away everything that is holding you back. Lift all your troubles and worries to the Lord. He came to set the captives free.

Let all Glory be unto God. Amen.

Mark 17

A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up.

The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”

If God Had A PC

In the beginning, there was the computer. And God entered:

C:\Let there be light!
Enter user ID
C:\God
Enter password
C:\Omniscient
Invalid password
Enter password
C:\Omnipotent
And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

C:\Let there be light!
Unrecognizable command
C:\Create light
Done
C:\Run heaven and earth
And God created Day and Night.
And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2.
C:\Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light
Unrecognizable command. Try again.
C:\Create firmament
Done.
C:\Run firmament
And God divided the waters.
And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.
C:\Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry land appear and...
Too many characters in specification string. Try again.
C:\Create dry_land
Done.
C:\Run firmament
And God divided the waters. And God saw that there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.
C:\Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\Create sun_moon_stars
Done
C:\Run sun_moon_stars
And God separated the light from the darkness. The sun ruled over the day and the moon and stars ruled over the night.
And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.
C:\Create fish
Done
C:\Create fowl
Done
C:\Run fish, fowl
And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that creepeth where with the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind.
And God saw there were 0 errors.
And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5.

And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6.
C:\Create cattle
Done
C:\Create creepy_things
Done
C:\Now let us make man in our image
Unspecified type. Try again.
C:\Create man
Done
C:\Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth
Too many command operands. Try again.
C:\Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 6 errors.
C:\Insert breath
Done
C:\Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 5 errors.
C:\Move man to Garden of Eden
Filename: Garden of Eden does not exist.
Abort, Retry, Ignore?
C:\Create Garden_of_Eden
Too many parameters
C:\Create Garden.edn
Done
C:\Move man to Garden.edn
Done
C:\Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 4 errors.
C:\Copy woman from man
Done
C:\Run multiplication
Execution terminated. 2 errors.
C:\Create desire
Done
C:\Run multiplication
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\Create freewill
Done
C:\Run freewill
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\Undo desire
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
C:\Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\Help
Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\Create tree_of_knowledge
And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn
Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
C:\Create good, evil
Done
C:\Activate evil
And God saw he had created shame.
Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman no longer located in Garden.edn. 1 errors.
C:\Scan Garden.edn for man, woman
Search failed. Abort, Retry, Ignore?
C:\Delete shame
Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
C:\Destroy freewill
Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
C:\Stop
Unrecognizable command. Try again
C:\Ctrl_Break
C:\Ctrl_Break
C:\Ctrl_Break

ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS:
COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOG OFF.
C:\Create new world
You have exceeded allocated file space. You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.
C:\Destroy earth
Destroy earth: Please confirm.
C:\Destroy earth confirmed
COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN.
SERVICE WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.
And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6.
On Saturday, March 7, God rested.
On March 8, God created Macintosh.

I Pay All My Tithes

There were two men stranded on a deserted island. The first man was frantic and worried about being rescued. While the other was nice and calm, happy as could be.

The first man was pacing up and down the beach, worrying and cussing about what are they going to do. "They've got to find us, what are we going to eat, how long are we going to survive?" And so on he went just a worrying the whole time.

The other guy was just kicked back soaking up the sun, just having a good time. Not a worry in the world.

The first guy, irritated by his calmness, asked him "how can you be so calm, we're going to die if someone doesn’t find us?"

The second guy said "let me put it to you this way, first I'm a Christian, secondly I'm a CEO at my company, and I brought in over 500 thousand dollars last year, and I pay all my tithes. Believe me my pastor is going to find me."

Email From God

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.

So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.

When the angel returned she told God: "Yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good."

Well, God thought for a moment and said: "Maybe I had better send down a second angel, to get another point of view."

So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too.

When the angel returned he went to God and told Him: "Yes, the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good."

God thought this was not good. So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good. He wanted to encourage them and give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what that E-mail said?

...

You didn't get one either, huh?

Christian Alphabet

Although things are not perfect
Because of trial or pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame.
Even when the times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know.
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee.
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone.
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start every day with worship
To "thank" is a command.
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high.
Yes, there will be good times and yes some will be bad, but...
Zion waits in glory...where none are ever sad!

"Too blessed to be stressed!"

The shortest distance between a problem and a solution equals the distance between your knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything. Be Blessed.

Big Trouble

There were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighbourhood, it turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wits' end trying to control them. Hearing about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the priest to talk with the boys. The father agreed.

The mother went to the priest and made her request.

He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone.

So the mother sent him to the priest.

The priest sat the boy down across from him at a huge impressive desk.

For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other.

Finally, the priest pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, "Where is God?"

The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, but said nothing.

Again, louder, the priest pointed at the boy and asked, "Where is God?"

Again the boy looked all around but said nothing.

A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the priest leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy's nose, and asked, "Where is God?"

The boy panicked and ran all the way home.

Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief.

He finally said, "We are in BIG trouble."

The older boy asked, "What do you mean, 'BIG trouble'?"

His brother replied, "God is missing and they think we did it!"

Christ Is Better Than Moses

Preface

Hebrews 3:1 – 4:13

Describe your favorite ways of resting and relaxation. How often do you do this?

Introduction

Having argued for the supremacy of Jesus (who is shown to be superior to the prophets and the angels in the last Bible study), the Spirit-led writer of Hebrews now makes the case for how Christ is better than Moses, the one through whom the first covenant came.

The author will issue a second warning, now against forfeiting the rest offered to us (What was the first warning about?). The importance of rest is then expounded in chapter four.

Questions

1. Why is Moses so esteemed by the Hebrew people? Briefly recall facts about his life.

Read Hebrews 3:1-6

2a. In what way is Christ better than Moses?

b. Why did the writer of Hebrews argue that Jesus is greater than Moses?

Read Hebrews 3:7-19

3a. A warning is given, based on the Old Testament passage in verses 7-11. Who is this warning for?

b. What is the nature of the warning? (What is its severity of the warning? What is the tone of the author? Is it pleading or punitive? What effect does the rhetorical style used have on the feel of the message?)


c. What will be the result of not heeding this warning?

4. We are told to encourage one another to identify with Christ rather than be overcome by unbelief (Hebrews 3:13)

a. How is sin deceitful?


b. How does encouragement help?


c. How can God use you today to encourage another believer?

Read Hebrews 4:1-13

6. Who gets to experience God's rest?

Read Joshua 21:43-45

7a. Describe the kind of rest the people experienced. Of what did this rest consist? Did this rest last?


b. What does this rest mean for us as Christians?


8. Take some time to examine your own heart and life. Have you entered into God's rest through faith, or are you still trying to be saved through your own work and self-effort? What evidence would you give to support your answer?

Read Hebrews 4:12-13

9. The Word of God is the sword of the Spirit, which we are instructed to wield. How may we do so in the world of our everyday student lives?

Conclusion

The need for God's rest is urgent. A person should diligently, with intense purpose and concern, secure it. It is not that he can work his way to salvation, but that he should diligently seek to enter God's rest by faith – lest he, like the Israelites in the wilderness, lose the opportunity. God cannot be trifled with. If you are walking by faith today, you can feel sure of your security in the love of God.

Christ Is Better Than Angels

Preface

Hebrews 1:1 – 2:18

Many opinions abound about who Jesus is. List some common ideas about the identity of Jesus that you've heard.

Who do you believe Jesus is? Why?

Introduction

The overarching theme of Hebrews is the supremacy or the preeminence of Christ. He is higher than any Old Testament character. He is superior to any Old Testament institution. He is greater than any Old Testament ritual. He is better than any Old Testament sacrifice. His life, death and resurrection make Him preeminent.

In this Bible Study, the author shows how Jesus Christ is superior to angels, which are held in high regard by the Jews as highest beings next to God.

Questions

Read Hebrews 1 (Refer to Hebrews 1:1-4)

1. Consider the ways Jesus is described here. How would you summarize the ways Jesus is described here in a sentence?

a. What does it mean that God “has in these last days spoken to us by His Son”? (John 1:1-14)

b. What does it mean that Christ has been appointed heir of all things? (Psalm 2:8-9, 89:27, Romans 11:36, Colossians 1:15-18)

Refer Hebrews 1:4-14

3a. Discuss why God made angels. What are they for? (Deuteronomy 33:1-1, Psalm 68:17, 97:7, 104:4, Acts 7:38, 53, Galatians 3:19)

b. How does the passage contrast Jesus from the angels?

Read Hebrews 2 (Refer to Hebrews 2:1-4)

4. What warning does the writer issue?

5. What does it mean when it says, 'Jesus was perfected through suffering' (Hebrews 2:10), bearing in mind that He never sinned?

Read Colossians 1:13-20

6. In what ways does this passage echo the themes expressed in Hebrews 1 and 2? What new truths are mentioned?

7. How has your views of Jesus Christ changed as a result of these chapters? Explain.

8. Given the excellency and supremacy of Christ, why do you think human beings still tend to trust other things more?

9. In what areas of your life do you need to recognize that Christ is far better than everyone and everything else you might put your faith and trust in?

Conclusion

Through this Bible study, we have gotten a better understanding of Christ. We learn about His glorious nature and the cause for which He suffered and died on earth, that is, the purification of sins and reconciliation with God.

There is no better promise than that in Jesus Christ. Not only has He atoned for our sins, but He continues to help us in our times of testing. Angels may minister to us as God's servants; Jesus ministers to us as His own kith and kin.

May we truly worship Jesus Christ as the One who humbled Himself, died for our sins, and who is now risen and glorified.

Anger - Authors

• James B Clayton

Anger - James B Clayton

"If religion has done nothing for your temper, it has done nothing for your soul." ~ James B Clayton

Abortion - Authors

• Francis Schaeffer

Abortion - Francis Schaeffer

"But the dignity of human life is unbreakably linked to the existence of the personal-infinite God. It is because there is a personal-infinite God who has made men and women in His own image that they have a unique dignity of life as human beings. Human life then is filled with dignity, and the state and humanistically oriented law have no right and no authority to take human life arbitrarily in the way it is being taken." ~ Francis Schaeffer

Children's Bible Answers

If you know the Bible - even a little - you'll find this hilarious!

It comes from elementary school. Kids were asked questions about the Old & New Testaments. The following statements about the Bible were written by the children. They have not been retouched or corrected (i.e. incorrect spelling has been left in.)

• In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
• Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on in pears.
• Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
• The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
• Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.
• Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.
• Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.
• The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.
• The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
• The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
• Moses died before he ever reaches Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.
• The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
• David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.
• Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
• When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
• When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, the found Jesus in the manager.
• Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
• St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
• Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone.
• It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
• The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
• The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
• One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.
• St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
• Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Atheist In The Woods

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the accident of evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look, just in time to see a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw the bear closing in on him. He tried to run even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.

His heart was pumping frantically as he tried to run even faster, but he tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up and saw the bear right on top of him raising his paw to kill him.

At that instant, he cried out, "Oh my God!"

Just then, time stopped... The bear froze; the forest was silent; even the river stopped moving. A bright light shone upon the man, and a voice came out of the sky, saying, "You deny My existence all of these years; teach others I don't exist; even credit My creation to a cosmic accident, and now do you expect Me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist, ever so proud, looked into the light and said, "It would be rather hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years. But could you make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

As the light went out, the river ran, the sounds of the forest continued, and the bear put his paw down. The man breathed a sigh of relief. Then the bear brought both paws together, bowed his head and said: "Lord, I thank you for this food, which I am about to receive."

Light Bulb

How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb will be one that has been chosen to be changed.

How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
Change???

How many neo-orthodox does it take to change a light bulb?
No one knows. They can't tell the difference between light and darkness.

How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.

How many independent fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, because any more might result in too much cooperation.

How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb, they still might not change it, to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They always use candles.

How many worship leaders who use guitars does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.

How many "members of an established Bible teaching church that is over 20 years old" does it take to change a light bulb?
One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.

How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
This statement was issued: "We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine.

Adam’s Bargain

One day Adam was feeling lonely. So he went looking for God.

"God I'm lonely." Adam said to God.

"Adam, I knew you would feel this way. So I'll make woman for you." God answered.

"Excuse me God, but what's woman?"

"Adam, woman is someone who will take care of you. She will get food for you, bear your children, will love you at all times, not question your judgement, and when you discover clothes, she'll wash and mend them for you, keep your house clean, not argue with you, and give you companionship."

"Sounds good," said Adam. "How much will she cost?"

God thought for a while and said, "Two arms and a leg."

Adam said, "Hmmmm, that's expensive! What can I get for a rib?"

A Naive Pastor

A man who was sick wanted so badly to go to church the next day, so he took a heavy dosage of Benadryl. The next morning he wouldn't wake up!

So his wife went to church without him.

When the Pastor asked her where her husband was she said "he went to Bedtime Baptist Church with Pastor Pillow and Sister Sheets."

The Pastor looked at her with kind of a weird expression and said "I have never heard of that church, what part of town is it at?"

A Little Boy's Prayer

"Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me.

Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we're gonna be in a big mess."

A Child's ABC

A grandfather overheard his granddaughter repeating the alphabet in reverent, hushed tones.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm praying, Grandpa," she said. "I can't think of the right words, so I just say all the letters. God will put them together for me, 'cause he knows what I'm thinking."

Christian Acronyms and Acrostics

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This list will be updated as more acronyms and acrostics are discovered.

AAA - Approved. Anointed. Appointed.
ABC - Accept. Believe. Confess.
ACE - Active Christian Evangelism
ACROSTIC - Awesome Christ Reigns. Our Saviour. Trust In Christ
ACTS - Adoration. Contrition. Thanksgiving. Supplication.
ADVANCE - Almighty Delivers Victory, Always Needing Candidates Eternal
AGA - Awaiting God's Arrival
AGLOW - Announce God's Love Our Witness
ALIENS - A Light In Every Neighbourhood and School/Adolescents Living to Impact Everyone with News of Salvation
AMEN - All Mighty Eternal Name
APE - Always Pray Everyday
ARCH - Always Represent Christ's Haven
ARMOUR - Amazing Redemption Makes Our Understanding Realized
ARROWS - Army Running the Race Of Winning Souls
ASAP - Always Say A Prayer
ASK - Approach the Servant King/Ask. Seek. Knock.
BABE - Born Again Believer Eternally
BAC - Born Again Christian
BAD - Blessed And Delievered
BASIC - Become A Soldier In Christ/Brothers And Sisters In Christ
BEAUTY - Be Ever And Utterly Trusting Yahweh
BEG - Believe Everything Greater
BELIEVE - Blessed Everywhere Living In Eternal Victory Everlasting
BENEFITS - Bread for the soul. Enjoyment. Nearness of God. Encouragement. Foundation. Inspiration. Truth. Security.
BIBLE - Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
BIG - Believe In God/Bold In God
BIG FISH - Believers in God, Faithful In Serving Him
BIG WHEEL - Because In God We Have Eternal Everlasting Life
BIGOTRY - Bring In God's Own, Through Religious Youth
BIRD FLU - Believe In Redeemer Deeply, Fear Leaves Us
BLIND - Bible Lovers Involving Neophyte Discussion
BLOOD - Bought Life Out Of Death
BMW - Bestow Me Wisdom
BOUNCE - Being Obedient Unto New Covenant Eternally
BREAD - Bible Reveals Every Answer Daily
BREATHE - Believe Righteousness Eventually Arrives To Handle Everything
BUG - Bestowed Under God
BUSY - Being Under Satan's Yoke
BYE - Bless You Eternally
CALL - Christ Almighty Loving Lord
CANCER - Confidence in God. Amazing grace. Never forsaken, never alone. Christ, the Solid Rock. Eternity with God, my Father. Rejoicing in Hope, my Savior.
CARAMEL - Christ Almighty Redeemer And Master Eternally Loves
CARE - Christ Always Remembers Everyone/Christ's Arms Reach Everyone/Come And Rest Everyday
CAREER - Christ Always Rules Eternal Everlasting Redeemer
CASH - Christians Always Say Hallelujah
CAT - Creator And Teacher
CELEBRATE - Christ Equally Loves Everyone By Redeeming And Transforming Everyone
CEO - Christians Encouraging Others
CHAOS - Christ's Help Amidst Our Suffering
CHARITY - Carefully Helping According to Rigteous Insights of Testimony and Yeshua
CHICK - Choose Happiness in Christ's Kingdom
CHRIST - Certainly His Resurrection Is Supreme Truth
CHRISTIAN - Compassionate. Helpful. Righteous. Inspirational. Servant. Testamony. Intercessor. Ambassador. Nurturing.
CHRISTMAS - Christ Must Arrive Soon/Christ My Annointed Saviour/Christ child. Heavenly hosts. Redeemer. Israel. Star. The wisemen. Manger. Angels. Shepherds.
CHUMP - Come Help Us Make Progress
CIA - Christ Is Alive/Christian In Action
CIGAR - Christ Is Gracious And Reliable
CIRCLE - Christ Is Righteous, Christ Loves Everone
CK - Christ the King
CLAP - Christ Loves All People
CLIP - Christ Lives In People
COFFEE - Christ Offers Forgiveness For Everyone Everyday
COG - Children Of God
COLD - Call Our Lord Directly
COLLEGE - Christ Our Loving Lord Enriches Groups Eternally
COMPASSION - Christ Of Mercy Peace And Strength Stays In Others Now
CONFIDENCE - Christ Overseeing Needs, Faith, Insight, Dedication, Enrichment, New Creation Emerges
COOL - Christ Our Only Lord/Christ Over Our Lives
COPS - Christian Operated Prayer Support/Christians Obediently Preaching Salvation
CORE - Christians On Road to Excellence
COURAGE - Christ Our Ultimate Redeemer, Almighty God Eternal
CRASH - Come Rejoice And Sing Hallelujah
CREAK - Christ Reigns Eternally As King
CREW - Christ Reaching Everyone Worldwide/Christ Redeemed Everyone Willingly/Christ Rewards Everyone’s Work
CROSS - Christ Relieves Our Shameful Sins/Christ Rescues Our Sacred Souls/Compassion Reaching Out Saving Sinners
CRUSH - Christ Rescued Us Sinners, Hallelujah!
CSI - Constant Scripture Investigation
DIGNITY - Deliverance In God, Now I Trust You
DIGS - Delight In God's Salvation
DISCIPLE - Determination. Intercession. Servant. Commitment. Integrity. Perseverance. Love. Evangelism.
DIVAS - Divine Inspired Victory Against Satan
DJWW (WWJD Backwards) - Devil Just Won't Win
DOG - Depend On God
DORK - Daughters Of The Risen King
DRAMA - Deliverer. Redeemer. Almighty. Messiah. Anointed./Divine Redemption And Mercy Abounds/Don't Run Away, My Angel!
DUH - Don't Underestimate Him
DUMMY - Doctrine Unites More and More Youths
EAGLE - Embrace Abba God's Love Everyday
EASTER - Ever Alive Savior's Testament of Eternal Redemption/Exciting Awesome Stupendous Terrific Excellent Resurrection
EGO - Edging God Out
EGR - Extra Grace Required
EQUIP - Easy and Quickly Unified In Prayer
ERIC - Eternally Righteous In Christ
ETERNITY - Everlasting Truth, Everlasting Righteousness, Now Imparted To You
FAITH - Faith Achieves Impossible Things Humbly/Fantastic Adventures In Trusting Him/Fearlessly Advancing In Triumph Hope/Finding Amens In Today's Harshness/Firm Acclaimation Involving The Holy Spirit/Flaming Arrows In The Hand/For(saking) All I Trust Him/Forsaking All In Taking Him/Forwarding All Issues To Heaven/Full Assurance In The Heart
FEAR - Face Everything And Rise/Failure Expected And Received/False Expectations Appearing Real/Forget Everything And Run
FINE - Feeling In Need of Encouragement
FIRE - Focus Intently Reaching Everyone
FISH - Faith In Stormy Hours/Faith Is Super Human/First I Seek Him/Forever I Serve Him
FLESH - Following Learning Engaging Sinful Habits
FOCUS - Fixed On Christ Each Day
FOCUSED - Fixed On Christ's Unlimited Supply Every Day
FOG - Full Of God
FOOL - Forgetting and Overlooking Our Lord
FORGIVE - Forgive Others Readily and Graciously Inviting Victory Eternal
FREE - Forgiveness. Release. Expect. Equip.
FREEDOM - For a Really Exciting Escape, Depend On the Messiah
FRETS - Focus Returned Exclusively To Satan
FRIEND - Fully Reliable In Each New Difficulty
FROG - Fully Rely On God
FROGLA - Fresh Revelation Of God's Love and Acceptance
FROGS - Forgive. Respect. Obey. Give Thanks. Serve./Friends Relying On God's Strength
FROLIC - Father Reaches Out Love In Christ
FRUIT - Friends Revealing Understandings In Truth
GAP - Give And Pray/God Answers Prayers/Gossiping About People
GAEC - God Almighty Eternal Christ
GBH - God Blesses Humans
GHOST - God Holds Others So Tenderly
GIFT - God Incarnate For Thee
GIFTS - God Is Forever The Same/God Is Forgiving To Sinners
GIG - God Is Great
GIGGLE - God Is Great Giving Life Eternal
GIMP - God Is My Provider
GIOTW - God Is Over This Website/God Is Overseeing The World
GIRAFFE - God Inspires Reverence Affection Forgiveness For Ever
GIVE - Generously give from the heart. Invest in God's Kingdom. Vital to spiritual growth. Expect eternal dividends!
GLARE - God Loves And Reigns Eternally
GLASS - God Loves And Saves Sinners
GLEE - God Loves Everyone Equally
GLORY - Grow. Love. Offer. Reach. Yearn.
GLUE - God Loves Us Eternally
GOAL - God Offers Abundant Life
GOD - God Our Defender/Great. Omnipotent. Deity.
GOGGLE - God Of Glory Gives Life Eternal
GOLF - God Offers Love and Forgiveness
GOLIATH - God Of Love Is Always There Helping
GORF (FROG Backwards) - God Our Righteous Friend
GOSPEL - Glad tidings. Offer pardon. Salvation. Peace. Eternal life. Lasting joy./Go Over Seas Preaching Everlasting Life/God Offers Sinful People Eternal Life/God's Only Son Provide Everlasting Life
GPS - Get People Saved/Getting People Saved/Getting People to Salvation/Getting Prayers Said/God's Plan of Salvation/God's Priority System/God Provides Salvation/Gospel Preaching Soldiers/Gracious Powerful Saviour/Great Personal Saviour
GRACE - God Really Covers Everything/God's Redemption At Calvary Expressed/God's Riches At Christ's Expense
GRADE - God Reigns And Delights Eternally
GRAPE - God Redeems All People Everywhere
GREASE - God Redeems Everyone And Saves Everyone
GREAT - God Reigns Eternal And Triumphant/God Reigns Eternally And Totally
GREAT HATS - God Reaches Everyone And Through Him Are They Saved
GRIM - God Reigns In Majesty
GROAN - God Rules Over All Nature
GROWTH - God Reaches Out Willingly To Help
GST - Get Saved Today
GTG - Give To God/Glory To God
GULF - God's Unfailing Love Forever
GUM - God Use Me
GUST - Give Up Sins & Temptations
HAIR GEL - Holy And Immortal Righteous God Enriches Lives
HAPPY - His Awesome Presence Perfecting You
HAWK - Heaven's A Wonderful Kingdom
HEAL - He Encourages And Lifts
HEALED - Healed. Encouraged. Accepted. Loved. Empowered. Delivered./Heavens Eternity And Love Endowed Directly
HEART -  Humility. Enthusiasm. Attitude. Relationship. Trust.
HEAVEN - Having Eventually A Victorious Eternal Name
HEDGE - Help with Evil Devil Garbage Eradication
HELP - His Ever Loving Presence
HEROES - He Ever Reigns Our Everlasting Savior.
HIGH - Healed In God's Hands/Holy Is God Hallelujah!
HIGH FEVER - Healed In God's Hands, Faith Empowers, Vitalises, Edifies & Restores
HIGHER - He Is God, Holy Eternal Redeemer
HIP - Heaven Is Perfect
HIS - Hallelujah, I'm Saved/Happiness Is Salvation/Humbly I Serve
HOLE - His Overwhelming Love Everlasting
HOPE - Having Only Positive Expectations/He Offers Peace Everyday/His Organised Plan Excells/Holding On, Pray Expectantly/Hold On, Pain Ends/Home Of Personal Encouragements
HOUSE - Holding Onto Ultimate Saviour Eternally
HSUP (PUSH Backwards) - Holy Spirit Unites People
HUG - Happy Under God/His Unlimited Grace
IBIG - I Believe In God
IHL - In His Love
IROCC - I Rely On Christ Completely
JAGUAR - Jesus Always Guides Us And Redeems
JANICE - Justified And New Inspiring Creature Empowered
JAPAN - Joy And Peace Are Needed
JCLU - Jesus Christ Loves You
JELLY - Jesus Eternally Loves Little You
JESUS - Jehova Eternally Saves Us Sinners/Jehovah's Everlasting Supernatural Unlimited Strength/Joy Everlasting Sealed with Unquenchable Spirit/Joy. Excitement. Satisfaction. Understanding. Salvation/Justifiably Every Sinner's Ultimate Sacrifice
JILL - Jesus Is Loving Lord
JIM - Jesus In Me!
JOY - Jesus Our Yes/Jesus Overshadows You/Jesus first. Others second. Yourself last.
JUICE - Justified by God. Under the blood. In Christ forever. Changed by the Holy Spirit. Empowered by His love.
JUMP - Jesus Understands My Problems
JUST - Jesus Understands Satan's Temptation
JUSTICE - Jesus Uses Salvation To Impart Correction Everywhere
JUSTIFIED - Just As If I'd (never sinned)
KFC - Keep Following Christ/Kids For Christ
KISS - Keep It Simple, Spiritually
KREW - Kids Reaching Everyone Worldwide
KRUMP - Kingdom Radically Uplifted Mighty Praise
LEOPARD - Love Everyone Offer Prays And Repent Daily
LEPER - Love Every Person Equally Readily
LET GO - Leave Everything To God, Okay?
LIBERTY - Living In Belief Everlasting Redeemer Transforms You
LICE - Life In Christ Eternal
LIFE - Living In Faith Everyday/Love Is For Ever
LIFT - Living In Faith Together
LIGHT - Living In God's Historical Truths
LILY - Lord I Love You
LION - the Lord Is Our Navigator
LOAM - Lord Of All Mercy/Lord Of All Might/Lord Of All Majesty
LOGIC - Love Of God In Christ
LOL - Loving Our Lord
LOLLY - Lord Of Lords Loves You
LORD - Leader Of Real Believers
LOUD - Life. Obedience. Undignified. Delight.
LOVE - Letting Others View Emmanuel/Life Of Victorious Endearment/Limitless Obedience Via Effort/Live Out Victory Everyday/Living On Vital Energy/Listen. Overlook. Value. Encourage./Love Others Very Eagerly
LUCK - Living Under Christ's Kingdom/the Lord's Unchanging Care and Kindness
LUVS - Lifting Up Victorious Saviour
M&M - Memorizing & Meditating
MAD - Make A Difference
MAGIC - Mercy And Grace In Christ
MAGNET - Mercy And Grace Never Ever Tarnishes
MAYFLY - Mighty Are You Father Lord Yahweh
MERCY - Mankind Exempted and Released from Condemning Yoke/May Everyone Receive Christ and Yahweh/Messiah Erases all Reasons Condemning You/My Eternal Righteousness Cleanses You
MIDST - Messiah Is Delivering Salvation Today
MIGHTY - My Incredibly Great Holy Trustworthy Yahweh
MIRACLE - Magnificent, Insightful, Risen, Almighty, Caring, Love Endures/Most Incredible Redeemer Always Caring Loving Exalted
MORALITY - Mercy. Overcomer. Redeemer. Almighty. Loving. Insightful. Truths. Yahweh.
NBA - Never Be Alone
NECTAR - Now Exalt Christ Thank And Rejoice
NOW - No Opportunity Wasted
NUTS - Never Underestimate The Spirit
OGRE - Our God Reigns Eternally
OIL - Omnipresent Invincible Lord
OMG - Oh Mighty God
OOPS - Only One Personal Savior
OSAS - Once Saved Always Saved
OWL - One With the Lord
PATCH - Praise And Thank Christ Hallelujah!
PAW - Pray And Watch
PEACE - Perfect. Easy. Amazing. Comfort. Eternal./Perfect, Easy And Comfortable Existence/Pray Expectantly, Adore Christ Everyday/Pursuing Excellence After Christ's Example
PEPPER - Praise Everyone Praying Peacefully Everywhere Rightnow
PGA - Praise God Anyway
PHD - Practicing Healing & Deliverance
PIGS - Precious In God's Sight
POCKETS - People Of Christ's Kingdom Enjoy Their Saviour
POGO STICK - People Of God Obeying Standing Together In Christ's Kingship
POLICE - Preach to Other the Love In Christ Everyday
POP - Prince Of Peace
POPPY - Prince Of Peace Protects You
PORK - Praise Our Risen King
POTTER - Prayer Opens The Trail To Righteousness
POWER - Pray. Obey. Witness. Encourage. Remain faithful.
PRAISE - Pray continually. Read the Word every day. Acknowledge Jesus as Lord. Invest yourself in mentoring. Serve and share your faith. Encourage one another daily.
PRAY - Praise, Repent, Ask, Yield
PRAYER - Positive Reassuring Action Yielding Eternal Results/Power Released At Your Earnest Request
PUSH - Pray Until Something Happen
PYJAMAS - Praise You Jesus Awesome Messiah And Saviour
QUEEN - Quietly Unleashes Everlasting Eternal Needs
RABBIT - Read A Bible Because It’s True
REAL - Realizing Emmanuel's Almighty Love
REJOICE - Restoring Everlasting Joy Oneness In Christ Eternal
RELEASE - Renounce Enemies' Lies. Enter Almighty's Salvation Eternal.
RELIGION - Realizing Eternal Lord Is God, Informing Others Now!/Relying Everyday Loving Insightful God I Overcome Nonsense
REPENT - Renounce Evil Practices, Experience No Torment
REST - Rooted Everyday, Simply Trust
RESTORE - Reborn Everlasting Salvation To Overcome Revealing Eternity/Righteous, Everlasting, Salvation To Overcome, Renew and Empower
REVELATIONS - Regarding Eventual Victory, Expect Lucifer's Aides To Intervene Over Nations
REWARD - Really Exciting Wonders Aren't Richly Deserved/Receiving Eternity While At Redeemer's Door
RICH - Rejoice In Christ, Hallelujah
RICK - Rejoice In Christ's Kingdom
RIGHT - Rejoicing In God's Holy Truths
ROCK - Relying On Christ's Kingship/Relying On Christ's Knowledge/Relying On Christ the King
ROCK ON - Rely On Christ's Knowledge Overcome Negativity
RUN - Are You In?
SALVATION - Saved And Living Victoriously, As Though It's Only Natural/Strength Appointed, Love Anointed, Thanksgiving Inspired Other Comers Never giving up
SARS - Stand And Receive Salvation
SAVED - Salvation After Valuating Eternal Destiny
SEED - Securing Eternal Enduring Destiny/Sowing Eternal Extrication Daily
SERVE - Servants Eagerly Receive Valuable Eternity
SHINE - Serving Him In Never-ending Eagerness
SHIP - Safe Harbor In Peril
SHOUT - Share Hallelujah Orally Unto Triumph/Sing Hymns Of Unfailing Truths
SIGNAL - Safe In God's Nurturing Abundant Love
SIN - Self Inflicted Nonsense
SINUS - Saint Is Now Undoubtedly Secure
SMILE - Spiritual Mind Is Life Eternal
SMS - Savior Miraculously Saves
SOAP - Scripture. Observation. Application. Prayer.
SOFT - Saviour Of Faithful Truths/Seeking Out Faithful Truths
SOLDIER - Saints Opposing Lust and Demons, Into Eternal Righteousness
SOS - Save Our Souls/Savior Of Souls/Saviour Overcomes Sin/Serving One Saviour/Serving Only Saviour/Sight On Savior/Sing Our Songs
SPAM - Serving People Aids Me
SPEAK - Someone Prays Everyday About Kindness
SPIN - Serving People In Need
SPIRIT - Super-natural Power Impacting Reality with Insightful Truths
STAND - Simply Trust And Never Doubt
STOMP - Standing True On Messiah's Promises
STORM - Striving to Teach On Reaching More
STY - Sing To Yahweh
TEAM - Together Everyone Achieves More
TED - Treasure Each Day
TGIF - Thank God I'm Forgiven
THANKS - Through His Annointing, Nullifies Killing Sickness/To Honour A Nail-pierced Kind Savior
THINGS -Trustful. Helpful. Inspirational. Necessary. God. Saviour.
THINK - Truthful. Helpful. Inspirational. Necessary. Kind.
THUMPER - Trusting Him Ultimate Messiah Providing Everlasting Redemption
TIA - Triumph In Almighty
TICKS - Trust In Christ King Supreme
TIGER - Trust In God & Everything's Right/Trusting In God's Eternal Redemption
TITHE - The Investment That He Endorses
TITLE - Trust In The Lord Everyday
TLC - Teens Learning of Christ/Teens Loving Christ
TOM - Take On More
TRINITY - Truth Revealed In Nazarene In Three Years/That Revealed In Nature Is: Three "You"
TRUST - Totally Reliant Upon Savior's Timing
TRUTH - The Real Understanding Through Him/The Real Union To Him/The Reality Underlying The Hypocrisy
TSUNAMI - Tackling Satan Ultimately Needs A Marvelous Intercessor
UNASHAMED - Under New Authority Savior Has Accepted My Eternal Deliverance
VICTOR - Valiant Is Christ Thank Our Redeemer
VICTORY - Victorious In Christ's Truth, Our Redeeming Yeshua
WAGES - We Are God's Eager Servants
WAIT - Wisdom and Answers In Time
WARRIORS - Women and men. Awakened. Removing the spiritual veils. Remembering the blood. Intoxicated in the Spirit. Offering help to those who God appointed them to. Raiding what Satan stole from them. Souls soldiering for Christ.
WASTE - Worry. Anger. Self-Pity. Tattling. Envy
WAYWARD - Why Are You Waiting And Risking Death?
WEALTH - Winning Eternal Amnesty by Loving and Trusting Him
WHAZZUP - Waiting Humbly And Zealously for Zion Unceasingly Praying
WHIZ - We Honor In Zeal
WHOLE - With Him Our Love's Eternal/Without Holiness One's Left Empty
WIGS - Worthy In God's Sight
WILD - Walk In Love Daily/Witness In Love Daily/Worship In Love Daily
WIPE - Work In Progress
WITNESS - Walking In Testimony Nearing Eternity, Salvation and Sanctification/Walking In The Nations Earnestly Saving Souls
WOMEN - Wonderfully and Overwhelmingly Meeting Eternal Needs
WORD - Wisdom Overflowing Reading Document
WORKS - Wonderful Omnipotent Redeeming Kind Savior
WORSHIP - We Only Really Serve Him In Praise/Wholehearted Obedience & Raising Simple Hands In Praise/Wonderful Omnipotent Redeeming Saviour Holy and Indefinitely Perfect
WTF - Worship The Father
WWJD - Walking With Jesus Daily/What Would Jesus Do
WWJD Backwards - Devil Just Won't Win
WWW - Worship Widely Willingly
WWYD - What Would You Do
YES - Yielding Everything to the Saviour
YET - Yes! Emmanuel Triumphs
YIMP - You're In My Prayers
YOU - Yeshua Oversees and Understands
YOUTH - Yahweh Our Unyielding True Hosanna
YUCK - Youth Under Christ the King

(29 words/125 characters) FIRST IN BETHLEHEM WAS MERRY CHRISTMAS THEN ON CALVARY HILL CAME HAPPY EASTER AND HE'S HERE WITH US NOW THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY WHO IS JESUS CHRIST BY NAME - From Inspiration, Realising Spiritual Truths, I Note Birth Expected Throughout History, the Lord Eternal Hereafter Explained as Messiah, our World's Answer to Sin. Making Eternal Reality Real to You, Coming Here Righteously In Savation's Truth, as Man And Saviour to all, as Through His Explanation. Note the One Named Christ Answered Life's Victory As Realised by You. He Insured Lasting Life with his Crucifiction, Assured Man's Eternity. He Answered Prohecies Promised to You, Erasing All Sin Through Eternal Ressurection. Also, Now Describing How Eternal Saviour, Here Explained, Responds to Everyone Who is Inspired to Talk to Him, Using his Spirit. Now, Our World as Through His Explanation, the Leader Of Righteousness Descended as Gift Of Deliverance, As Living Messiah Introduces God's Heavenly Truths to You, to Whom He Only Is Saviour, Jehovah's Eternal Son. Until Someday he Comes Here, Returning In Savations Triumph, Because You Now Are Made Eternal. ~ posted by Patrick Merrill

[Edited 24/10/2018]

Thank God for His Grace and thanks to everyone for your contributions. This list will be updated as often as possible, all for the sake of His Glory forever and ever. Amen.