- "Big Bang theory? You've got to be kidding." - God
- "C'mon over and bring the kids." - God
- "Do you have any idea where you're going?" - God
- "Don't make me come down there." - God
- "Follow me." - God
- "Have you read my #1 best seller? There's going to be a test." - God
- "I love you and you and you and you and…" - God
- "Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer." - God
- "Let's meet at my house Sunday, before the game." - God
- "Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage." - God
- "My way is the highway." - God
- "Need direction?" - God
- "Tell the kids I love them." - God
- "That "Love They Neighbor" thing... I meant it." - God
- "We need to talk." - God
- "What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand?" - God
- "Will the road you're on get you to my place?" - God
- "You think it's hot here?" - God
- Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em. He'll clean 'em.
- Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
- Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
- Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
- Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
- Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
- God Answers Knee-Mail.
- God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
- God grades on the cross, not the curve.
- God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
- God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
- He who angers you, controls you!
- If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!
- If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.
- Memberships available free to everyone under the Son.
- Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity.
- The Bible is Not Antique, Nor is it Modern, it is Eternal.
- The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
- The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
- Turn Life's Cares into Prayers.
- Want to make God laugh? Tell him your future plans.
- We don't change the message, the message changes us.
- When you pray, don't give God instructions, just report for duty!
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