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28 January 2012

Church Billboards

  • "Big Bang theory? You've got to be kidding." - God
  • "C'mon over and bring the kids." - God
  • "Do you have any idea where you're going?" - God
  • "Don't make me come down there." - God
  • "Follow me." - God
  • "Have you read my #1 best seller?  There's going to be a test." - God
  • "I love you and you and you and you and…" - God
  • "Keep using my name in vain, I'll make rush hour longer." - God
  • "Let's meet at my house Sunday, before the game." - God
  • "Loved the wedding, invite me to the marriage." - God
  • "My way is the highway." - God
  • "Need direction?" - God
  • "Tell the kids I love them." - God
  • "That "Love They Neighbor" thing... I meant it." - God
  • "We need to talk." - God
  • "What part of "Thou Shalt Not..." didn't you understand?" - God
  • "Will the road you're on get you to my place?" - God
  • "You think it's hot here?" - God
  • Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em. He'll clean 'em.
  • Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
  • Come work for the Lord.  The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low.  But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
  • Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
  • Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
  • Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
  • God Answers Knee-Mail.
  • God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
  • God grades on the cross, not the curve.
  • God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
  • God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
  • He who angers you, controls you!
  • If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!
  • If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.
  • Memberships available free to everyone under the Son.
  • Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity.
  • The Bible is Not Antique, Nor is it Modern, it is Eternal.
  • The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
  • The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
  • Turn Life's Cares into Prayers.
  • Want to make God laugh?  Tell him your future plans.
  • We don't change the message, the message changes us.
  • When you pray, don't give God instructions, just report for duty!